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Friday, May 1, 2009

The Terrifying Revenge of the B-Movie!!!: Scene 38

SCENE 38

EXT – TOWN
(BORIS, GAVORDT, FRANCOPHILE, ALVIS)

FRANCOPHILE

Hoo-whee. Now those are monsters. I wish I’d created one of those beasties instead of that stupid hideous freak. What a dud that turned out to be, eh?

ALVIS

You did create one of those, baby.

FRANCOPHILE

Huh? What do you mean?

ALVIS

My penis lotion. I mean…your enlarging formula. It worked like Viva Las Vegas on that jive-talking spider.

FRANCOPHILE

What the hell…you’re not even trying to talk like Elvis. Wait, you mean I created that spider. Perhaps…I truly am a mad scientist now.

ALVIS

Aww, don’t be mad, baby. Don’t worry, be happy.

FRANCOPHILE GLARES AT ALVIS. SUDDENLY BORIS KNOCKS GAVORDT ONTO IT’S BACK. AS GAVORDT FALLS, IT CATCHES ALVIS WITH A GLANCING BLOW THAT SENDS HIM FLYING. ALVIS FALLS AND HIS GLUED BRAIN POPS OPEN. THE ELVIS PART GOES FLYING.

FRANCOPHILE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

FRANCOPHILE DIVES IN SLOW MOTION THROUGH THE AIR. UNFORTUNATELY THE ELVIS BRAIN HALF HAS ALREADY SPLATTERED ON THE PAVEMENT BEFORE HE EVEN STARTS DIVING IN SLOW MOTION. HE STARTS CURSING AND SHAKING HIS FISTS IN SLOW MOTION UNTIL HE FINALLY HITS THE GROUND. HE GETS A LITTLE BRUISED AND SCRAPED.

FRANCOPHILE

Ow, dammit, dammit. Algore!

ALGORE SHAKES HIS HEAD. HE FLIPS HIS SKULL LID BACK DOWN AND STUMBLES TO HIS FEET. HE IS INEXPLICABLY DRESSED AS A HUMPBACK AGAIN.

ALGORE

Coming, master.

BORIS CRAWLS OVERTOP HIS DEFEATED ENEMY. HE HOLDS TWO OF HIS HANDS UP IN THE AIR TOGETHER LIKE A REIGNING CHAMPION.

BORIS

Boris wins! Meat!

BORIS STARTS TO MESSILY DEVOUR GAVORDT’S CORPSE. AS HE DOES SO, HE BEGINS TO SLOWLY START SHRINKING.

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