The Terrifying Revenge of the B-Movie!!!: Scene 24

SCENE 24

EXT – RUBBLE OF FRANCOPHILE CASTLE – THE NEXT DAY
(JIMMY, SARIA)

JIMMY IS LYING IN THE RUBBLE, CUT AND WOUNDED, BUT NO BADLY INJURED. HE COUGHS A FEW TIME AND LOOKS UP TO SEE A PAIR OF WOMEN’S LEGS. HE LOOKS FARTHER UP TO SEE A GORGEOUS BLOND BOMBSHELL. THIS IS UNNECESARIA TEEYANAY, CALLED SARIA, WHOM ALGORE MENTIONED EARLIER AS HIS DATE. JIMMY SLICKS BACK HIS HAIR EVEN THOUGH HE IS COVERED WITH RUBBLE AND GORE AND HAS A TOILET ON HIS FOOT.

JIMMY

Well, Hello.

SARIA

Hello. Is Algore around?

JIMMY

Algore? You're looking for the hunchback?

WOMAN

Yes. I have a date with him. My name is Unnecessaria Teeyanay. Everybody calls me Saria. You must be Professor Vector van Francophile.

SARIA SHAKES JIMMY’S HAND.

JIMMY

Francophile? No, I'm not Francophile!

SARIA

You're not? Who are you, then?

JIMMY

Jimmy Smith. I mean,

(dignified, British accent)

The Earl of Warren.

SARIA

Is that a toilet on your foot?

JIMMY
(regular)

Oh, dammit!

SARIA

Hey, wait! The castle's gone!

SARIA LOOKS AROUND THE RUBBLE OF THE CASTLE AS THOUGH JUST NOTICING IT. JIMMY GETS UP.

JIMMY

So it is. Well, I'm off!

JIMMY LIMPS OFF.

SARIA
(calling after him)

What about Algore?

JIMMY
(over his shoulder)

I don't know.

SARIA

Where are you going?

JIMMY

To get this damn thing off my foot!