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Friday, April 24, 2009

The Terrifying Revenge of the B-Movie!!!: Scene 31

SCENE 31

INT – UFO HALLWAY

FRANCOPHILE LOOKS OUTSIDE THE DOOR LIKE A HUNTED ANIMAL. WHEN HE SEES NOTHING HE SLOWLY TIPTOES OUT, FULLY DRESSED AND HOLDING A CHEESY ALIEN RAY GUN. HE LEAPS AROUND A CORNER, FIRING THE RAY GUN WILDLY AT NOTHING. HE SOON REACHES A ROOM WITH A GIANT NEON SIGN THAT SAYS "THE GALLEY.” HE LOOKS UP AT THE SIGN.

FRANCOPHILE

Hmm. They said they were going to the galley. The galley. Where could it be? Where could it possibly be? Oh, taunt me no longer, cruel demons, point me towards the gal...ah ha!

FRANCOPHILE NOTICES THE GIANT NEON SIGN AGAIN.

FRANCOPHILE

Perhaps someone in here can tell me how to reach the galley!

FRANCOPHILE BURSTS INTO THE ROOM.

FRANCOPHILE
(extremely fast)

Tell me the way to the galley now you hideous extra-terrestrial beasts before I fire this laser blaster ray gun and destroy you all!

ZORBON

Do you mind? We're trying to have dinner here.

FRANCOPHILE NOTICES ALGORE’S BRAINLESS BODY.

FRANCOPHILE

My god, what have you done to him, you monsters! How could you do such a horrifying thing?

ZANDAR

What we did to your servant...

FRANCOPHILE

Who cares about my servant? I'm talking about The King!

FRANCOPHILE GRABS THE JAR MARKED “ELVIS PRESLEY.” HE FALLS TO THE GROUND SOBBING LIKE A LUNATIC. ZORBON AND ZANDAR SLOWLY INCH OUT OF THE ROOM, EMBARRASSED FOR HIM.

FRANCOPHILE

Don't worry, Elvis, I can bring you back to life! I didn't go to Mad Scientist A&M for nothing! But they've already destroyed half of your brain. I'll need half a brain from somewhere else.

FRANCOPHILE LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM BEFORE FINALLY SETTLING ON ALGORE’S BRAIN.

FRANCOPHILE

Algore has half a brain! Well, Algore always had half a brain, but that's not the point
!

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