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Monday, April 26, 2010

And now for something completely different...

***Hey, kids. You know I normally hate to interrupt the story, but before April ends I did want to make mention of the fact that it's Script Frenzy! I know I haven't been pimping Script Frenzy as thoroughly as I did NaNoWriMo...but as I mentioned in my initial post on the subject, it was a much more low key and laid back kind of effort. No late nights or frantic button mashing at all. But now that the month is nearly over (7 pages to go, woo!) I feel bad about not mentioning it more. So let me tell you a little about my script.

It's about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it
BILLY AND THE CLONE-A-SAURUS. Here's an excerpt.***

MORBIDLY OBESE REPUBLICAN
So Hussein Obama and his Dumb-ocrat party are trying to shove finance reform down the American people's throats.

WALL STREET LOBBYIST
Do you really think that line's going to work again? I mean, like 75% of the people are for reform. I mean, I'm not, but for tax purposes I'm a citizen of the Dutch Antilles, so I can't even really vote.

REPUBLICAN
Hmm. Well, I'm sure we could figure SOMETHING out, if, um, you know, ahem.

LOBBYIST
Oh, right, your bri...I mean, "campaign contribution." Here you go.

He hands over a brown sack with a dollar sign on it.
REPUBLICAN
Right, well, so, we're not retreating, we're reloading.

LOBBYIST
What does that mean?

REPUBLICAN
Well, isn't it obvious from context? It means we're going to use legislative delaying tactics to buy ourselves enough time to get some useful idiots from the Tea Party out shouting about how finance reform is actually Stalinism.

LOBBYIST
Oh. Well, that makes sense, but in context it sounded like you were going to have the president assassinated.

REPUBLICAN
I would never say that! Although, I will say that if somebody WERE to do it, they would be totally justified by the Constitution. I think it was Jefferson that said, "If thou dost not like yon president, murder ist always an option."

LOBBYIST
Do you even believe your own bullshit anymore?

REPUBLICAN
Hell do you care? You bought what you wanted.

LOBBYIST
Fair enough. Celebratory line of coke?

REPUBLICAN
Don't mind if I do.

***Okay, okay, I'm just kidding. About everything. And you all know I normally don't like to bring politics into the blog...but God damn, man. Anyway, we will be back on Wednesday with an ACTUAL excerpt from my Script Frenzy project and hopefully it will be completed by then.***

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