Out in the street, Bernardo and Taylor are overwhelmed. They scream as they are torn to pieces by zombies. Miguel and Denver step out of the saloon just in time to see the horrific dismemberment. Miguel leaps forward.
MIGUEL
No!
Denver wraps his arms around Miguel’s chest and forcibly holds him back.
DENVER
They’re already dead!
MIGUEL
Bernardo muerte? Bernardo muerte!
The zombies take notice of them and began to swarm around them. Firing a few shots, and pulling Miguel, Denver re-enters the saloon.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
A Fistful of Zombies 25
Back in the saloon, Denver and Miguel kill the last of the zombies.
MIGUEL
That’s the last of them.
DENVER
Have you seen any women?
MIGUEL
A few. Why?
DENVER
My wife…nothing. I just hope that she made it out of town alive.
Tentatively, but with a true compassion born of the brotherhood of combat, Miguel puts his arm on Denver’s shoulder.
MIGUEL
Denver, I’m sure she did.
MIGUEL
That’s the last of them.
DENVER
Have you seen any women?
MIGUEL
A few. Why?
DENVER
My wife…nothing. I just hope that she made it out of town alive.
Tentatively, but with a true compassion born of the brotherhood of combat, Miguel puts his arm on Denver’s shoulder.
MIGUEL
Denver, I’m sure she did.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
A Fistful of Zombies 24
***Better late than never, eh? Sort of? Eh, whatever.***
Vazquez shakily holds his cross as the three half-nude zombie advance on him
VAZQUEZ
You are ungodly creatures. And you seek ungodly acts. No doubt. But I will not be tempted.
The zombies moan non-committally. Vazquez backs up to the ladder and struggles to climb down one-handed. Suddenly he stops as zombie Chapelle, with his neck distended so far that his head flaps against his shoulder, wraps his arms around him. Vazquez screams as Chapelle bites into his shoulder, using his free hand to push his head into the proper spot, since it won’t move on its own.
VAZQUEZ
Judas!
Vazquez presses the cross against Chapelle’s forehead, which causes the zombie to fall back off the ladder, truly dead. Vazquez lets the cross drop and dangle around his neck, breathing hard and struggling to hold on to the ladder. Suddenly, the three topless Petticoat zombies reach down and grab him, struggling, pulling him up to the water tower.
VAZQUEZ
No! No!
They devour and rip apart Vazquez on top of the watertower, although to an untrained eye it would look quite a bit like a lovely orgy. When the screaming stops, one of the zombies rips off Vazquez’s cock and balls and holds it aloft.
Vazquez shakily holds his cross as the three half-nude zombie advance on him
VAZQUEZ
You are ungodly creatures. And you seek ungodly acts. No doubt. But I will not be tempted.
The zombies moan non-committally. Vazquez backs up to the ladder and struggles to climb down one-handed. Suddenly he stops as zombie Chapelle, with his neck distended so far that his head flaps against his shoulder, wraps his arms around him. Vazquez screams as Chapelle bites into his shoulder, using his free hand to push his head into the proper spot, since it won’t move on its own.
VAZQUEZ
Judas!
Vazquez presses the cross against Chapelle’s forehead, which causes the zombie to fall back off the ladder, truly dead. Vazquez lets the cross drop and dangle around his neck, breathing hard and struggling to hold on to the ladder. Suddenly, the three topless Petticoat zombies reach down and grab him, struggling, pulling him up to the water tower.
VAZQUEZ
No! No!
They devour and rip apart Vazquez on top of the watertower, although to an untrained eye it would look quite a bit like a lovely orgy. When the screaming stops, one of the zombies rips off Vazquez’s cock and balls and holds it aloft.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
A Fistful of Zombies 23
Outside, zombies begin emerging from houses and everywhere. Taylor and Bernardo start shooting at them.
BERNARDO
What do you think?
TAYLOR
I don’t know if we can take them.
They stand back to back as zombies pour out from every nook and cranny of the town.
TAYLOR (smiling)
Never thought I’d die back to back with a wetback.
BERNARDO (smiling)
Fuck you, gringo.
BERNARDO
What do you think?
TAYLOR
I don’t know if we can take them.
They stand back to back as zombies pour out from every nook and cranny of the town.
TAYLOR (smiling)
Never thought I’d die back to back with a wetback.
BERNARDO (smiling)
Fuck you, gringo.
Monday, September 20, 2010
A Fistful of Zombies 22
Miguel and Denver walk into the saloon. It is full of zombies. The bartender, now a zombie, is still wiping down the bar. He moans something quite similar to “What’ll it be?”
DENVER
Shoot them!
Denver and Miguel start shooting at the zombies as they stagger towards them.
DENVER
Shoot them!
Denver and Miguel start shooting at the zombies as they stagger towards them.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
A Fistful of Zombies 21
***Late, but not forgotten. Oh, well. As consolation, please accept this.***
On top of the watertower, Vazquez looks down on the town with consternation in his face. Chapelle pulls himself up alongside him. He has a big smile on his face.
CHAPELLE
I say, this is quite bracing, isn’t it?
VAZQUEZ
I don’t think that’s the word I would use, Mr. Chapelle.
A loud moaning comes from behind them. A look of utter shock crosses the faces of both men simultaneously. They turn and three topless beauties, a la Petticoat Junction, emerge from the water tower. The waterlogged zombies reach towards them, half maliciously, half lasciviously.
CHAPELLE
Shit!
Chapelle staggers backwards against the rickety wooden guardrail, which instantly gives way. He tumbles to the ground and lands face first, twisting his neck into a horrendous curve.
Vazquez holds up the cross he wears, which causes the Petticoat zombies to hiss and back away slightly.
On top of the watertower, Vazquez looks down on the town with consternation in his face. Chapelle pulls himself up alongside him. He has a big smile on his face.
CHAPELLE
I say, this is quite bracing, isn’t it?
VAZQUEZ
I don’t think that’s the word I would use, Mr. Chapelle.
A loud moaning comes from behind them. A look of utter shock crosses the faces of both men simultaneously. They turn and three topless beauties, a la Petticoat Junction, emerge from the water tower. The waterlogged zombies reach towards them, half maliciously, half lasciviously.
CHAPELLE
Shit!
Chapelle staggers backwards against the rickety wooden guardrail, which instantly gives way. He tumbles to the ground and lands face first, twisting his neck into a horrendous curve.
Vazquez holds up the cross he wears, which causes the Petticoat zombies to hiss and back away slightly.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
A Fistful of Zombies 20
The group of six enters the town. Denver points to a water tower.
DENVER
Father, you’d better wait up there until the fighting’s over.
VAZQUEZ
God be with you, men.
Vazquez starts to climb up.
CHAPELLE
What about me?
Denver looks him up and down with disgust.
DENVER
Better take Asshole, Esquire with you, padre.
CHAPELLE
Quite right. Bon chance, gentlemen.
Chapelle climbs up after the priest. Denver takes a deep breath. The four gunslingers walk abreast down the streets of the town. A tumbleweed blows by. A zombie gunslinger emerges. The four shoot him down.
DENVER
Miguel! Come with me. We’ll check out the saloon. Taylor, Bernardo, cover us.
DENVER
Father, you’d better wait up there until the fighting’s over.
VAZQUEZ
God be with you, men.
Vazquez starts to climb up.
CHAPELLE
What about me?
Denver looks him up and down with disgust.
DENVER
Better take Asshole, Esquire with you, padre.
CHAPELLE
Quite right. Bon chance, gentlemen.
Chapelle climbs up after the priest. Denver takes a deep breath. The four gunslingers walk abreast down the streets of the town. A tumbleweed blows by. A zombie gunslinger emerges. The four shoot him down.
DENVER
Miguel! Come with me. We’ll check out the saloon. Taylor, Bernardo, cover us.
Monday, September 13, 2010
A Fistful of Zombies 19
Cut back to the present. Closeup on Denver, haunted by the memories of his wife.
TAYLOR
Sheriff?
Denver looks up.
DENVER
Huh?
TAYLOR
You were a thousand miles away.
Denver looks down at his remaining bullets, laid out before him. Some have crosses carved into them. He picks one up and begins carving a cross into it.
DENVER
Sorry, just picking cotton, I suppose.
Taylor and Bernardo are also carving crosses into their bullets. Miguel kisses each of his shotgun shells and makes the sign of the cross over it. Chapelle comes up with a canteen full of water and hands it to Vazquez. Vazquez begins to bless the water. Miguel holds out a pistol to Chapelle. Chapelle pushes it away.
CHAPELLE
Thank you, I don’t like firearms. The only weapon I like to employ is this one.
Chapelle points at his head. Miguel shrugs.
MIGUEL
Your funeral.
VAZQUEZ
Hold out your weapons.
The four gunfighters hold out their weapons towards Vazquez.
VAZQUEZ
May God forgive me for this.
Vazquez sprinkles the weapons with holy water and blesses them.
MIGUEL
Now we’re holy warriors.
DENVER
Come on, let’s find the army.
CHAPELLE
I’m afraid we’ll have to go through town for that.
TAYLOR
Sheriff?
Denver looks up.
DENVER
Huh?
TAYLOR
You were a thousand miles away.
Denver looks down at his remaining bullets, laid out before him. Some have crosses carved into them. He picks one up and begins carving a cross into it.
DENVER
Sorry, just picking cotton, I suppose.
Taylor and Bernardo are also carving crosses into their bullets. Miguel kisses each of his shotgun shells and makes the sign of the cross over it. Chapelle comes up with a canteen full of water and hands it to Vazquez. Vazquez begins to bless the water. Miguel holds out a pistol to Chapelle. Chapelle pushes it away.
CHAPELLE
Thank you, I don’t like firearms. The only weapon I like to employ is this one.
Chapelle points at his head. Miguel shrugs.
MIGUEL
Your funeral.
VAZQUEZ
Hold out your weapons.
The four gunfighters hold out their weapons towards Vazquez.
VAZQUEZ
May God forgive me for this.
Vazquez sprinkles the weapons with holy water and blesses them.
MIGUEL
Now we’re holy warriors.
DENVER
Come on, let’s find the army.
CHAPELLE
I’m afraid we’ll have to go through town for that.
Friday, September 10, 2010
A Fistful of Zombies 18
Flashback, in black and white. Denver and his wife Grace are getting married in a little chapel. The crowd celebrates and throws rice.
Same flashback. Now the new couple is in their bedroom. Grace, still in her wedding dress, is sitting on the edge of the bed crying.
GRACE
I don’t understand! Why do you have to go fight those men? Just come with me on our honeymoon and forget about Miguel Diaz and his gang.
DENVER
I don’t expect you to understand, Grace, but this is something I have to do. I can’t let those monsters kill in everyone in this town because I wanted happiness for myself. There’s responsibility that comes with this tin star.
GRACE
There’s responsibility that comes with this wedding ring, too. If you go…if you face those murderers…I won’t be waiting for you when you come back.
Same flashback. Now the new couple is in their bedroom. Grace, still in her wedding dress, is sitting on the edge of the bed crying.
GRACE
I don’t understand! Why do you have to go fight those men? Just come with me on our honeymoon and forget about Miguel Diaz and his gang.
DENVER
I don’t expect you to understand, Grace, but this is something I have to do. I can’t let those monsters kill in everyone in this town because I wanted happiness for myself. There’s responsibility that comes with this tin star.
GRACE
There’s responsibility that comes with this wedding ring, too. If you go…if you face those murderers…I won’t be waiting for you when you come back.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
A Fistful of Zombies 17
***Just so nobody's caught flat-footed, I'm considered a prolonged hiatus at the end of A Fistful of Zombies. I'm kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel already - this blog has long since exceeded what I ever would have dreamt of as its natural lifespan. I thought cutting back from daily posts to three days a week would alleviate the problem, but that can only do so much. In addition to reaching down into the dregs - although I am considering putting together a project tentatively called Gammala, which might be more worthy than anything else to go on this blog - I'm also putting together a secret project between now and November. A podcast and another blog. Completely different from the tone of this one. So I think at a minimum I'll have to be off the air between now and November - which is, as you know, National Novel Writing Month, so that's kind of another dead zone there. Hey, who knows, maybe three months of silence will send demand for updates skyrocketing, like it did with Maddox! Or maybe it'll kill the show, like it did with Life on Mars. Either way, look for big changes in the future, but, don't worry, we'll finish Fistful - such as it is - before any of that happens.***
The graveyard. A zombie vulture is perched on a tree. It flaps its skeletal wings. The church doors open and the gang steps out. They are arranged like a mass processional. Bernardo is out front, holding a silver cross out trepidaciously. Behind him come Miguel and Denver. Denver is holding a salt shaker and his gun. Miguel has a rosary wrapped around his gun. Chapelle is holding a torch. Taylor is carrying a gilded bible, and behind him comes Vazquez, unarmed, but in his most formal vestments and carrying a plate of wafers and a chalice of wine. The zombies begin to stagger towards them.
VAZQUEZ
Here, here, open it boy.
TAYLOR
I don’t know, reverend…
VAZQUEZ
It’s father. And just trust in the Lord. Hold the book open.
Taylor holds the book open for Vazquez. Vazquez begins saying the communion.
DENVER
Let’s go!
Denver shoots a zombie and then sprays salt in its face. The zombie falls over dead, his face bubbling like a slug.
DENVER
Salt works.
MIGUEL
In the name of the Father…
Miguel shoots one of the zombies and it dies.
MIGUEL
And of the Son…
Miguel shoots another zombie and it dies.
MIGUEL
And the Holy Spirit!
Miguel shoots a third zombie and it falls. Miguel holds up the rosary he had wrapped around his pistol.
MIGUEL
So do holy objects.
Bernardo presses his crucifix to the forehead of a zombie. The zombie falls down, with the form of the crucifix burned into its forehead. Chapelle strikes a zombie with his torch.
CHAPELLE
Oh. Terribly sorry.
Chapelle lights the zombie’s rags on fire. The flaming zombie staggers away, and lights a few other zombies in his wild flailing.
CHAPELLE
Got a light? (chuckles) Hey, I lit this zombie on fire, and then I asked him if he had a light? You see, as though I wanted him to light to my cigarette, but really he was on fire.
MIGUEL
I’m going to shoot him.
DENVER
Don’t. Not yet, anyway.
A zombie staggers towards Taylor and Vazquez. Vazquez is still saying communion. Taylor starts to panic.
VAZQUEZ
Be firm, my son.
Vazquez continues. Taylor continues shaking, but does not run. Chapelle is still burning zombies. Some of them stagger through the doors of the church, and the church lights on fire.
CHAPELLE
Oh no…no, no!
Chapelle drops his torch and runs inside to try to stamp out the fire. Miguel is firing two fisted, with a rosary wrapped around each pistol. He seems to be enjoying himself, and going a little nuts.
MIGUEL
Go to Hell you undead motherfuckers!
Even Denver is feeling a little better.
DENVER (jovially)
Language.
Denver sprays some salt on a zombie that was about to eat Miguel.
MIGUEL
Thanks, gringo.
Miguel shoots at Denver. He wasn’t actually shooting at Denver, but at a zombie right behind him that was just about to eat him.
MIGUEL
Now we’re even.
Suddenly a zombie grabs Miguel’s shoulder. Miguel turns and tries to shoot, but he is out of bullets. He takes one of the rosaries and jams it into the zombie’s mouth. The zombie turns, staggers away, and explodes into flames. Miguel holds up his rosary and begins singing “Ave Maria” and the zombies begin to run away from him. The zombies are about to eat Taylor and Vazquez. Vazquez has finished the mass.
VAZQUEZ
In nomine Patre et fili et spiritus sanctis! We’re done, boy.
Taylor slams the book closed and holds it up to the nearest zombie, which staggers away. Vazquez sprays wine on the zombies and they begin to die. He presses a communion wafer into the mouth of one of the zombies and it dies.
VAZQUEZ
The power of Christ destroys your evil!
Denver shakes his salt shaker at a zombie, but he is out of salt. Miguel helps him by putting his rosary around the zombie’s neck. The zombie dies. Taylor looks around. All of the zombies are scattered around, and destroyed.
TAYLOR
Where’s the Bokor? We didn’t get the Bokor.
Suddenly, a huge flame burst out of the church. The church is really burning down now. Chapelle staggers out, covered with soot and coughing. He collapses into Vazquez’s arms.
CHAPELLE
I’m sorry, father. I tried to stop the fire.
VAZQUEZ
It’s not your fault, my son.
Vazquez helps Chapelle to the ground.
BERNARDO
What do we do now?
TAYLOR
I think if we kill the Bokor, all the zombies will disappear.
DENVER
So, what? You want to go hunting for that Bokor? With what? There’s no kerosene. I’m out of salt.
MIGUEL
And we don’t have any more holy objects. The church is gone.
DENVER
We have only one chance. We have to get to one of the armies. Maybe an army could hunt down that Bokor, but not us.
MIGUEL
Ok, fine. We go to the armies. But how we going to get there? We got nothing to defend ourselves with.
VAZQUEZ
I have an idea. We can make your weapons holy.
CHAPELLE
“Iustum enim est bellum quibus necessarium, et pia arma ubi nulla nisi in armis spes est.”
DENVER
What?
VAZQUEZ
“Because a necessary war is a just war and where there is hope only in arms, those arms are holy.”
CHAPELLE
Livy.
Chapelle sits up.
VAZQUEZ
Normally, I could not in good conscience bless a weapon. But I think God will make an exception in this case.
The graveyard. A zombie vulture is perched on a tree. It flaps its skeletal wings. The church doors open and the gang steps out. They are arranged like a mass processional. Bernardo is out front, holding a silver cross out trepidaciously. Behind him come Miguel and Denver. Denver is holding a salt shaker and his gun. Miguel has a rosary wrapped around his gun. Chapelle is holding a torch. Taylor is carrying a gilded bible, and behind him comes Vazquez, unarmed, but in his most formal vestments and carrying a plate of wafers and a chalice of wine. The zombies begin to stagger towards them.
VAZQUEZ
Here, here, open it boy.
TAYLOR
I don’t know, reverend…
VAZQUEZ
It’s father. And just trust in the Lord. Hold the book open.
Taylor holds the book open for Vazquez. Vazquez begins saying the communion.
DENVER
Let’s go!
Denver shoots a zombie and then sprays salt in its face. The zombie falls over dead, his face bubbling like a slug.
DENVER
Salt works.
MIGUEL
In the name of the Father…
Miguel shoots one of the zombies and it dies.
MIGUEL
And of the Son…
Miguel shoots another zombie and it dies.
MIGUEL
And the Holy Spirit!
Miguel shoots a third zombie and it falls. Miguel holds up the rosary he had wrapped around his pistol.
MIGUEL
So do holy objects.
Bernardo presses his crucifix to the forehead of a zombie. The zombie falls down, with the form of the crucifix burned into its forehead. Chapelle strikes a zombie with his torch.
CHAPELLE
Oh. Terribly sorry.
Chapelle lights the zombie’s rags on fire. The flaming zombie staggers away, and lights a few other zombies in his wild flailing.
CHAPELLE
Got a light? (chuckles) Hey, I lit this zombie on fire, and then I asked him if he had a light? You see, as though I wanted him to light to my cigarette, but really he was on fire.
MIGUEL
I’m going to shoot him.
DENVER
Don’t. Not yet, anyway.
A zombie staggers towards Taylor and Vazquez. Vazquez is still saying communion. Taylor starts to panic.
VAZQUEZ
Be firm, my son.
Vazquez continues. Taylor continues shaking, but does not run. Chapelle is still burning zombies. Some of them stagger through the doors of the church, and the church lights on fire.
CHAPELLE
Oh no…no, no!
Chapelle drops his torch and runs inside to try to stamp out the fire. Miguel is firing two fisted, with a rosary wrapped around each pistol. He seems to be enjoying himself, and going a little nuts.
MIGUEL
Go to Hell you undead motherfuckers!
Even Denver is feeling a little better.
DENVER (jovially)
Language.
Denver sprays some salt on a zombie that was about to eat Miguel.
MIGUEL
Thanks, gringo.
Miguel shoots at Denver. He wasn’t actually shooting at Denver, but at a zombie right behind him that was just about to eat him.
MIGUEL
Now we’re even.
Suddenly a zombie grabs Miguel’s shoulder. Miguel turns and tries to shoot, but he is out of bullets. He takes one of the rosaries and jams it into the zombie’s mouth. The zombie turns, staggers away, and explodes into flames. Miguel holds up his rosary and begins singing “Ave Maria” and the zombies begin to run away from him. The zombies are about to eat Taylor and Vazquez. Vazquez has finished the mass.
VAZQUEZ
In nomine Patre et fili et spiritus sanctis! We’re done, boy.
Taylor slams the book closed and holds it up to the nearest zombie, which staggers away. Vazquez sprays wine on the zombies and they begin to die. He presses a communion wafer into the mouth of one of the zombies and it dies.
VAZQUEZ
The power of Christ destroys your evil!
Denver shakes his salt shaker at a zombie, but he is out of salt. Miguel helps him by putting his rosary around the zombie’s neck. The zombie dies. Taylor looks around. All of the zombies are scattered around, and destroyed.
TAYLOR
Where’s the Bokor? We didn’t get the Bokor.
Suddenly, a huge flame burst out of the church. The church is really burning down now. Chapelle staggers out, covered with soot and coughing. He collapses into Vazquez’s arms.
CHAPELLE
I’m sorry, father. I tried to stop the fire.
VAZQUEZ
It’s not your fault, my son.
Vazquez helps Chapelle to the ground.
BERNARDO
What do we do now?
TAYLOR
I think if we kill the Bokor, all the zombies will disappear.
DENVER
So, what? You want to go hunting for that Bokor? With what? There’s no kerosene. I’m out of salt.
MIGUEL
And we don’t have any more holy objects. The church is gone.
DENVER
We have only one chance. We have to get to one of the armies. Maybe an army could hunt down that Bokor, but not us.
MIGUEL
Ok, fine. We go to the armies. But how we going to get there? We got nothing to defend ourselves with.
VAZQUEZ
I have an idea. We can make your weapons holy.
CHAPELLE
“Iustum enim est bellum quibus necessarium, et pia arma ubi nulla nisi in armis spes est.”
DENVER
What?
VAZQUEZ
“Because a necessary war is a just war and where there is hope only in arms, those arms are holy.”
CHAPELLE
Livy.
Chapelle sits up.
VAZQUEZ
Normally, I could not in good conscience bless a weapon. But I think God will make an exception in this case.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Labor Day
In honor of Labor Day I'm not doing any labor. Including blogging. Enjoy the holiday, peoples.
Friday, September 3, 2010
A Fistful of Zombies 16
***Ooh, sorry. Did I say on Monday I wouldn't miss another update? Slipped my mind. I'm just sick about this.***
They all enter the church.
DENVER
Hello?
MIGUEL
Is anybody here? Padre?
Miguel shrugs. They close and bar the door.
MIGUEL
We should be safe here. This whole place is holy. We’ll just wait it out here.
DENVER
No, we can’t stay here. We’ve got to the warn the army.
BERNARDO
Which one? There are Northerners and Southerners camped out there.
MIGUEL
It doesn’t matter. What will the army do? They can’t do any more than we can do. They’ve got the same bullets we do.
DENVER
Well, what do you suggest, Miguel?
MIGUEL
Simple. We wait in here until morning. I bet the daylight kills them.
TAYLOR
Yeah, he might be right. I think I heard that zombies can’t go outside in the daylight.
DENVER
You think? You think? And what if you’re both wrong? What if they’re just a little uglier in the daylight? They could be in Arizona by tomorrow morning, and by next week they could be in New York. We’ve got to go tell the armies, either one, or both of them. They’ve got to know.
MIGUEL
Come on, Denver, even you’re not stupid enough to believe that will help. We stay here tonight.
Denver pulls his pistol and sticks it in Miguel’s face. Miguel puts his hand on his own pistol, but knows better than to draw it.
DENVER
Listen, you fucking spick…
MIGUEL
Stop swearing in church!
DENVER
You fucking spick! You don’t give the orders around here! And you don’t to talk to me like I’m one of your greasy bandito fuck buddies!
MIGUEL
You’d better stop screaming and start thinking, Denver. You think either the Rebs or the Yanks will believe your crazy story about the dead coming back to life? I don’t even wholly believe, and I was there. They gonna call you crazy, they gonna call you a spy, then they gonna shoot you. I agree with you something should be done. And when the armies see the zombies for themselves, then they do something. But for us, the only safe thing to do is to camp out here, where we know we’re safe.
DENVER
You mean where we’re sitting ducks. Look out there.
Denver points out the window. There is a graveyard around the church.
DENVER
There are going to be a lot of those things pounding on the doors soon.
MIGUEL
They can pound all they want, but they won’t come in.
DENVER
You think they won’t come in! You guess they won’t come in! But what if you’re wrong?
MIGUEL
Maybe I am wrong! But I know for a fact that you’re wrong!
Denver cocks his pistol. Suddenly the priest, FATHER VAZQUEZ, comes into the church from the rectory, carrying a candle.
VAZQUEZ
What in the name of God is going on here?
Bernardo crosses himself. Denver grudgingly lowers his pistol.
MIGUEL
Forgive us, padre.
DENVER
Listen, reverend, I know it looks bad, but you don’t understand. There is evil out there…
VAZQUEZ
The only kind of evil I see is in here! Men trying to hurt one another! That is the only kind of evil there is! And in the house of God. You men should be ashamed of yourselves. Ashamed!
Miguel takes off his pistol belt and hands it to the priest. Denver grudgingly holsters his own pistol.
MIGUEL
Padre, I would like to confess my sins. But there is someone in the booth.
They all look over at the confessional. Vazquez walks over and opens the door. A man tumbles forward out of it. He was apparently hiding and leaned up against the door to eavesdrop on them. He is extremely well dressed, tall and skinny, wearing a derby and a pinstripe suit. He stands up and dusts himself off. He tries to act dignified, but with little success. This is MR. CHAPPELLE.
MIGUEL
Yankee.
VAZQUEZ
Look at all these people in my church. Why don’t you people ever come out on Sundays?
DENVER
And who the hell are you?
MIGUEL
Language!
CHAPPELLE
Oh, uh, my name is Mr. Chappelle, I am a lawyer from Pennsylvania. I was educated at Harvard law. Mr. Immanuel Port hired me to come out West and protect his interests from the squatters on his property.
DENVER
Port. You mean that fat robber baron is trying to make it legal to shoot the settlers where he wants to put his railroad.
CHAPELLE
Well…yes. And it’s perfectly within his rights, I might add.
DENVER
But is it right?
CHAPELLE
Well, who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong?
VAZQUEZ
What are you doing in my church? What are all of you doing in my church?
CHAPELLE
Well, my wagon was overturned and my driver was killed. I thought at first that it was bandits, or even Confederates, but when I got out I saw that it was these…creatures. They looked like humans but…
DENVER
But not breathing.
CHAPELLE
Well…yes. Dead men. Eating. My driver and the horses. I ran from them and I kept running until I got here and they wouldn’t follow me into the church.
MIGUEL
I told you.
DENVER
Shut up.
VAZQUEZ
You men…saw the same thing?
DENVER
I saw one of my deputies get shot and keep walking. I saw him get stabbed and keep walking. I saw him get decapitated and keep walking.
Bernardo is looking out the window.
BERNARDO
Senors…
CHAPELLE
Then there is no way to kill them?
MIGUEL
You can’t kill what’s already dead.
TAYLOR
There are ways to stop them. Salt…fire…holy objects.
BERNARDO
Senors…
DENVER
Reverend, do you have any salt or kerosene?
VAZQUEZ
I may have a little. But there are holy objects all around here.
DENVER
I’m not going to use that religious mumbo jumbo unless I have to.
MIGUEL
Mumbo jumbo?
VAZQUEZ
You think the Lord is some kind of joke?
DENVER
No, I don’t think there’s a Lord at all. But I do know there are dead men walking and killing, and we need to burn them.
MIGUEL
You gringo son of a whore…
Miguel pulls his pistol from the belt that Vazquez is holding and points it at Denver. Denver draws his own and points it. Vazquez jumps in between them.
VAZQUEZ
Stop this! Now!
BERNARDO (screaming)
Senors!
They all stop and turn to look at Bernardo.
BERNARDO
They’re waiting for us.
Slowly, the others move towards the window. There are several empty graves and zombies staggering around with shovels, digging up the graves. The Bokor is standing there, and so is Brainfree. The Bokor is looking, with quiet malice, at the men in the window. He hands Brainfree a shovel and Brainfree begins digging up another grave. The Bokor licks the edge of a knife so that he leaves blood on the blade. Then he sprinkles the blood onto the grave Brainfree is digging up.
TAYLOR
That must be the Bokor.
CHAPELLE
We’d better…do something.
They all enter the church.
DENVER
Hello?
MIGUEL
Is anybody here? Padre?
Miguel shrugs. They close and bar the door.
MIGUEL
We should be safe here. This whole place is holy. We’ll just wait it out here.
DENVER
No, we can’t stay here. We’ve got to the warn the army.
BERNARDO
Which one? There are Northerners and Southerners camped out there.
MIGUEL
It doesn’t matter. What will the army do? They can’t do any more than we can do. They’ve got the same bullets we do.
DENVER
Well, what do you suggest, Miguel?
MIGUEL
Simple. We wait in here until morning. I bet the daylight kills them.
TAYLOR
Yeah, he might be right. I think I heard that zombies can’t go outside in the daylight.
DENVER
You think? You think? And what if you’re both wrong? What if they’re just a little uglier in the daylight? They could be in Arizona by tomorrow morning, and by next week they could be in New York. We’ve got to go tell the armies, either one, or both of them. They’ve got to know.
MIGUEL
Come on, Denver, even you’re not stupid enough to believe that will help. We stay here tonight.
Denver pulls his pistol and sticks it in Miguel’s face. Miguel puts his hand on his own pistol, but knows better than to draw it.
DENVER
Listen, you fucking spick…
MIGUEL
Stop swearing in church!
DENVER
You fucking spick! You don’t give the orders around here! And you don’t to talk to me like I’m one of your greasy bandito fuck buddies!
MIGUEL
You’d better stop screaming and start thinking, Denver. You think either the Rebs or the Yanks will believe your crazy story about the dead coming back to life? I don’t even wholly believe, and I was there. They gonna call you crazy, they gonna call you a spy, then they gonna shoot you. I agree with you something should be done. And when the armies see the zombies for themselves, then they do something. But for us, the only safe thing to do is to camp out here, where we know we’re safe.
DENVER
You mean where we’re sitting ducks. Look out there.
Denver points out the window. There is a graveyard around the church.
DENVER
There are going to be a lot of those things pounding on the doors soon.
MIGUEL
They can pound all they want, but they won’t come in.
DENVER
You think they won’t come in! You guess they won’t come in! But what if you’re wrong?
MIGUEL
Maybe I am wrong! But I know for a fact that you’re wrong!
Denver cocks his pistol. Suddenly the priest, FATHER VAZQUEZ, comes into the church from the rectory, carrying a candle.
VAZQUEZ
What in the name of God is going on here?
Bernardo crosses himself. Denver grudgingly lowers his pistol.
MIGUEL
Forgive us, padre.
DENVER
Listen, reverend, I know it looks bad, but you don’t understand. There is evil out there…
VAZQUEZ
The only kind of evil I see is in here! Men trying to hurt one another! That is the only kind of evil there is! And in the house of God. You men should be ashamed of yourselves. Ashamed!
Miguel takes off his pistol belt and hands it to the priest. Denver grudgingly holsters his own pistol.
MIGUEL
Padre, I would like to confess my sins. But there is someone in the booth.
They all look over at the confessional. Vazquez walks over and opens the door. A man tumbles forward out of it. He was apparently hiding and leaned up against the door to eavesdrop on them. He is extremely well dressed, tall and skinny, wearing a derby and a pinstripe suit. He stands up and dusts himself off. He tries to act dignified, but with little success. This is MR. CHAPPELLE.
MIGUEL
Yankee.
VAZQUEZ
Look at all these people in my church. Why don’t you people ever come out on Sundays?
DENVER
And who the hell are you?
MIGUEL
Language!
CHAPPELLE
Oh, uh, my name is Mr. Chappelle, I am a lawyer from Pennsylvania. I was educated at Harvard law. Mr. Immanuel Port hired me to come out West and protect his interests from the squatters on his property.
DENVER
Port. You mean that fat robber baron is trying to make it legal to shoot the settlers where he wants to put his railroad.
CHAPELLE
Well…yes. And it’s perfectly within his rights, I might add.
DENVER
But is it right?
CHAPELLE
Well, who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong?
VAZQUEZ
What are you doing in my church? What are all of you doing in my church?
CHAPELLE
Well, my wagon was overturned and my driver was killed. I thought at first that it was bandits, or even Confederates, but when I got out I saw that it was these…creatures. They looked like humans but…
DENVER
But not breathing.
CHAPELLE
Well…yes. Dead men. Eating. My driver and the horses. I ran from them and I kept running until I got here and they wouldn’t follow me into the church.
MIGUEL
I told you.
DENVER
Shut up.
VAZQUEZ
You men…saw the same thing?
DENVER
I saw one of my deputies get shot and keep walking. I saw him get stabbed and keep walking. I saw him get decapitated and keep walking.
Bernardo is looking out the window.
BERNARDO
Senors…
CHAPELLE
Then there is no way to kill them?
MIGUEL
You can’t kill what’s already dead.
TAYLOR
There are ways to stop them. Salt…fire…holy objects.
BERNARDO
Senors…
DENVER
Reverend, do you have any salt or kerosene?
VAZQUEZ
I may have a little. But there are holy objects all around here.
DENVER
I’m not going to use that religious mumbo jumbo unless I have to.
MIGUEL
Mumbo jumbo?
VAZQUEZ
You think the Lord is some kind of joke?
DENVER
No, I don’t think there’s a Lord at all. But I do know there are dead men walking and killing, and we need to burn them.
MIGUEL
You gringo son of a whore…
Miguel pulls his pistol from the belt that Vazquez is holding and points it at Denver. Denver draws his own and points it. Vazquez jumps in between them.
VAZQUEZ
Stop this! Now!
BERNARDO (screaming)
Senors!
They all stop and turn to look at Bernardo.
BERNARDO
They’re waiting for us.
Slowly, the others move towards the window. There are several empty graves and zombies staggering around with shovels, digging up the graves. The Bokor is standing there, and so is Brainfree. The Bokor is looking, with quiet malice, at the men in the window. He hands Brainfree a shovel and Brainfree begins digging up another grave. The Bokor licks the edge of a knife so that he leaves blood on the blade. Then he sprinkles the blood onto the grave Brainfree is digging up.
TAYLOR
That must be the Bokor.
CHAPELLE
We’d better…do something.
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