Manuscripts Burn


MANUSCRIPTS BURN

"Manuscripts don't burn"
- Mikhail Bulgakov

Hi, I'm Splatterpunk Award-winning horror and science fiction author Steve Kozeniewski (pronounced: "causin' ooze key.") Welcome to my blog! You can also find me on Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, and Amazon. You can e-mail me here, join my mailing list here, or request an e-autograph here. Free on this site you can listen to me recite one of my own short works, "The Thing Under the Bed."
Showing posts with label Maverick LCSW. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Maverick LCSW. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

DIRTY SOCIAL WORKING

***One of my favorite unpublished manuscripts remains to this day MAVERICK, LCSW.  And one of my all-time favorite parts of MAVERICK, LCSW is a little piece I like to call DIRTY SOCIAL WORKING.  I like to think of this as the GRAND INQUISITOR to MAVERICK LCSW's THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV.  So, for everyone's benefit, but especially newcomers to the blog, please enjoy...DIRTY SOCIAL WORKING.***

CLOSEUP FADES TO wavy transition

MAVERICK

(v.o.)

We met in the summer of 1963.  My future wife was vacationing at a summer camp in the Catskills.

wide shot

ANGIE

Wait, did you say 1963?

MAVERICK

Oh, I meant 1987.

ANGIE

1987, are you sure?

MAVERICK

Whatever year is appropriate for the current year, based on my apparent age.

Angie rolls her eyes.  Maverick goes back to string off into the distance.

closeup fades to wavy transition

MAVERICK

(v.o.)

Anyway, as I was saying.  We met in the summer of 1963.  My future wife was vacationing at a summer camp in the Catskills.

ext.resort in the catskills - flashback

The soundtrack and clothing indicate to the audience that this is a "Dirty Dancing" spoof.  LISA, Maverick's wife, enters the camp with her family, chewing on a stick of bubblegum.  Young Maverick, dressed in a black leotard, is hanging out by the pool, stretching his calves.

MAVERICK

(v.o.)

I was one of the social services instructors at the resort that year.

ANGIE

(v.o.)

Whatever year that was?

MAVERICK

(v.o.)

Right, whatever year that was.

Lisa walks up to Young Maverick and blows a bubble.  Young Maverick puts his hands on his hips.

young maverick

Hey, baby.  You want to go over in that corner and make out?

INT.ANGIE'S APARTMENT - present day - continuous

Maverick is gesturing at Angie like, "Huh?  Huh?  Get it?"

ANGIE

What?  I don't get what you're doing?

MAVERICK

Go to the corner?  Get it?  With a girl I just called baby?

Angie shrugs and shakes her head.

MAVERICK

Well, I thought it was clever.

ANGIE

You seem to think lots of things are clever.

EXT.RESORT IN THE CATSKILLS - FLASHBACK - continuous

Maverick and Lisa are making out behind the pool shed.  Suddenly she stops and pushes him away.

lisa

Wait a minute, handsome stranger.  Who are you?

YOUNG MAVERICK

I'm Maverick, MSW.  I teach social services and a little bit of leathercraft here at the resort.  But that's not all I plan to ever do.

Young Maverick gestures expansively out at the wide world.

YOUNG MAVERICK

I'm going places, baby.

LISA

Why do you keep calling me that?

YOUNG MAVERICK

Someday I'm going to be a big cog in the social work empire.  Someday I'll be king of the social workers, and everybody will listen to what I say: presidents, popes, everybody.  And razor-thin funding won't ever be a problem again.

LISA

Oh, you and your dreams, Maverick, MSW!  Could you teach me to social work?

Young Maverick takes her arm and moves her into an elegant en pointe ballet position.  He runs his fingers along the underside of her arm and armpit.

YOUNG MAVERICK

I can do better than that.  I can teach you to...dirty social work.

EXT.RESORT IN THE CATSKILLS - various locations

An appropriate song plays on the soundtrack for a dirty social working MONTAGE.

Lisa carries a watermelon in her arms like it's a baby.  Young Maverick jumps in the way and takes her watermelon baby and gives it to another crying vacationer.

They dance in the woods across a log bridge with a bunch of tri-folders in their hands.  On the other side of the log bridge they put the folders into a filing cabinet sitting in the mud.

Lisa sits at a pottery wheel.  Young Maverick comes up behind her and sensually helps her make a clay vase.

Lisa carries the vase she just made in her arms like it's a baby.  Young Maverick jumps in the way and takes her vase baby and gives it to another crying vacationer.

The MONTAGE ENDS

INT.the big social work cotillion - flashback

LISA'S FATHER stands up.

lisa's FATHER

I forbid you to do any more of this...this...dirty social work!

INT.ANGIE'S APARTMENT - PRESENT DAY

Angie is on the edge of her seat.

ANGIE

What happened after that?

MAVERICK

Well, her father forbade her.  What would we do, defy his wishes?

ANGIE

So you just didn't do anything?

MAVERICK

Well, another one of my students won the Big Social Work Cotillion that year, so I guess it all worked out in the end.

ANGIE

Well, what happened after that magical, nostalgia-inspiring summer?

MAVERICK

Well, her father went on to star in Law and Order for a number of years.

ANGIE

No, I meant with you two.

MAVERICK

Oh, I don't know.  We got married or something.

Monday, December 31, 2012

Manuscripts Burns's Top 12 Posts of 2012!

In an idea inspired by Chihuahua Zero's blog post here I've decided to bring you not just the top ten rated posts of the year, but the top TWELVE rated posts of the past year. 

12.  YOU DECIDE!!!!™ (Prologue) - this is my 200,000 word Romney/Obama slash fiction novel

11.  Fifty Shades of Copyright Grey Area - a thorough debunking of the myth that oncology recapitalizes philately

10.  Bar Mitts (Vah) - a lengthy, Die Hard III-style series of practical riddles that, once entered upon, inevitably results in the reader's cold, painful death

9.  "Pre" posterous - at long last I reveal my true identity: Automobile von Bismarck

8.  Serial Commas...YOU DECIDE!!!™ - it's just a link to Facebook

7.  Maverick, LCSW (p. 1) - two columns get into quite a...row.  Get it?  Get it?

6.  Double-Spaced Sentences...YOU DECIDE!!!™ - when a firefight breaks out between two Salvation Army bell ringers on opposite sides of the street, only a mannequin brought to life by an ancient Egyptian curse can reinvent rock and roll

5.  Why I Hate Bangs Redux: Why Everyone Should Hate Bangs - Kevin Bacon

4.  THE NOVEL HEARD 'ROUND THE WORLD - Page 1 - a seven hour video of me masturbating for six minutes set on a loop

3.  Watch out for my ROOOOOOOOOOOTS!!! - all the lyrics to Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" written in reverse

2.  Weasel Words - free iPads!

And finally (drumroll please) the highest rated Manuscripts Burn post, not just of 2012, not just of the 21st century, but (Ima let you finish, Taylor) the greatest of ALL TIME...

1.  Why I Hate Bangs - William Hung's autobiography, in limerick form

Monday, October 22, 2012

Friday, October 19, 2012

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Monday, October 15, 2012

Friday, October 12, 2012

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Monday, October 8, 2012

Friday, October 5, 2012

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Monday, October 1, 2012

Friday, September 28, 2012

Thursday, September 27, 2012

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