R.I.P. Script Frenzy

Well, kids, I hate to be the one to break it to you (if I am) but one of my favoriter (shut up, it's a word) months of the year is now going to be reduced to nothing more meaningful than Avril Lavigne's Christian name rendered in English.  Yes, if you worked your way through the logic maze of that last sentence, you probably still didn't realize what I was talking about (except in the extremely likely case that you read the title of this blogpost prior to the content): Script Frenzy is no more.

I have mixed feelings about this.  On the one hand, as I've discussed before on the blog, Script Frenzy was not much more than a lark, as unagented spec scripts are really nothing more than a writing exercise.  On the other hand, there have been years I've really enjoyed it.  Last year I wrote Maverick, LCSW, which was a delight.

Moreover, this year I was a little worried about doing both the Hundie Challenge and Script Frenzy simultaneously.  I'm under no obligation to do either, although I think the Hundie Challenge would win out in that fight.  I vaguely believe I could've done both, and in November there will be a reckoning when I have to decide whether to undertake NaNo and potentially the hard long end of the Hundie Challenge slog, but in a sense I'm relieved there's no Script Frenzy so I don't have to face that time crunch this early in the year.

Still, I'm very sorry to see it go.  For those interested, there is a sort of pseudo-Script Frenzy during Camp NaNo this year, which I think is in August, but I've never done that camp thing and I'm not planning to start in 2013.  The loss of Script Frenzy as an independent event is sad, and lamentable, but it doesn't mean we have to stop writing scripts and dreaming.  Thanks for following me through it these last three years!

Maverick, LCSW (update)

So. 

Anyway.

You may be wondering why I promised on April 25 to have an update on my Script Frenzy manuscript, "Maverick, LCSW" in the "next few days" and then never followed up.  Well, the short answer is, I can't internets so good.  The longer, but also still short answer is, I sometimes think you're imaginary, and therefore won't notice my broken promises.

The MUCH longer answer is that I did, indeed, complete my script, on time, as you probably could tell from the updated list of winners buttons for NaNo and Script Frenzy that I keep below my usual posting area.  (Scroll down to check it out, if you haven't.  The 2012 one is down there.)  I didn't find anything interesting in my stats, as I sometimes do.  I pretty much just did 100 pages, about 3 a day, with a few longer days and one or two dropped days.  So I didn't feel a need to write anything about THAT.

What I DO think, though, is that Maverick is funny, occasionally clever, and definitely unpublishable, not for the least of reasons being that it's kind of impossible to break into the movie industy with a spec script.  So I got to thinking that I'd like to actually "burn" Maverick on the ol' blog here.  (Wow, it's been so long since I burned a manuscript, you probably forgot that was this site's raison d'être.)

However...

I wrote Maverick, as I do all of my scripts, using Celtx.  If you're not familiar with Celtx, it's a great tool and you should definitely check out the hyperlink and download it, free of charge.  Celtx basically formats your script for you, no fuss, no muss.  What it doesn't do, though, is allow you to easily copy and paste into text-based programs like Word or, especially, Blogger here.  It lets you generate a .pdf, which is what Script Frenzy requires for "winning" anyway, so I never really worried about it before.

And here's something else you may not know: Blogger isn't really proper web publishing software, it's just a basic, easy blogging site.  So you can't really upload documents (i.e. a .pdf) to Blogger.  I really WANTED to share Maverick with you, my imaginary loyal readers, but for a while I couldn't figure out how, so I just didn't.

So here's my thought on that.  I'm thinking, why get one blog post out of Maverick when I could get 100?  (Not really, but I can't figure out an easier fix.)  So what I'm going to do is, probably starting June 1, is start posting three pages a week, MWF, of "Maverick, LCSW" to the blog by copying and pasting each page into a .jpg format and just uploading the picture.  I'm going to take the rest of the month of May to fire off a few pre-planned blog posts, not to mention bang Maverick into a bit more reader-friendly shape, and then we'll get back to the actual business of the blog, which is burning manuscripts.  (And business...is booming.)

Some Links on Publishing

I found this to be a rather intriguing and deeper look from a professsional at some of the issues I discussed here.  Bear with me and we may have an update on Maverick, LCSW coming in the next few days.  (Brief update: I'm a few pages ahead of schedule, so this won't be my first ever Script Frenzy loss.)

Excerpt from Maverick, LCSW

I've finally posted an excerpt from Maverick, LCSW on my Script Frenzy page.  (Yes, that's what I finally went with.  Everyone who chimed in seemed pretty excited about Mav.)  For everyone's benefit, I'll recreate it below:

MAVERICK
Mind if I co-facilitate this group therapy session?

The gangsters promptly forget about Angie and advance on Maverick. Switchblades flash and brass knuckles abound. Maverick simply cracks his knuckles.

MAVERICK
Let's check in.

Maverick executes a flawless backwards roundhouse kick and knocks one of the gangsters into the wall, where he collapses.

MAVERICK
First tell me who you are...

Maverick grabs a lid off a trash can smashes one of the gang members in the face with it.

MAVERICK
...Then tell me what you're hoping to get out of this session.

Maverick throws the trash can lid like a frisbee at one of the gangsters. It connects with his sternum, and sends him staggering. One of the gangsters jumps in front of Maverick with a knife.

GANGSTER 1
I'll cut you! I'll cut you so bad you'll wish that I never cut you in the first place.

MAVERICK
Woah, woah, woah. Time out. Why don't we see if I can't help you redirect that hostility?

Maverick kicks the gangster in his hand, sending him staggering into another gangster so that he stabs him. Finally there is only one gangster left. The man is obviously terrified, and wilts under Maverick's shadow.

MAVERICK
Oh, I'm so sorry. We're all out of time. Let's reschedule you for next week. Here let me introduce you to MY SECRETARY!

Maverick headbutts the man. He claps his hands against one another triumphantly.

The Frenzy begins...

Hey, kids!

If you've been following the blog for some time, you know that I'm a big proponent of Script Frenzy, the bastard stepchild of the far more famous National Novel Writing Month.  The Frenzy starts tomorrow and, truth be told, I'm a bigger fan of this one than NaNo.

So, why do I prefer the one to the other?  Well, I do both and let me tell you: Script Frenzy is fun and NaNo isn't.  NaNo can be rewarding, it can even be lucrative, but it's never what I'd describe as fun.  In a lot of ways, that's true of novel writing in general.  There are moments of elucidation, but it's never what I'd call a blast.

Script writing, on the other hand, is just for kicks.  For one thing, there's no pressure.  Unless you already do it professionally, there's almost zero chance of a spec script getting picked up.  Not to mention that you just do whatever and leave all the details to your collaborators. 

Don't like ascribing emotions to your characters?  Don't worry, the actors will do that. 

Don't like setting the scene?  Don't worry, the set designers will do that.

Don't like describing every little detail of the big fight or dance?  Ha!  That's what choreographers are for.

So, yeah, I'm a big fan of the Frenzy.  It's just you and the plot, in the most basic, nuts and bolts way possible.  Not to mention that, as I've described in great detail before, 100 pages of script is a very modest goal compared to 50,000 words of novel.

My page, as every year, is here.  This year, I'm in a bit of a bind.  I haven't really thought that much about Script Frenzy.  I always have as a fallback the idea of writing a couple of episodes of Kingdom, my much neglected spec TV series.  I've also considered writing Maverick, LCSW, the story of a social worker with nothing to lose travelling through the American Southwest and plying his trade.  I guess I could always do The Party, which I've always been meaning to do, about a group of kids who take off on a real-life D&D adventure.  Or, since it's been so successful in the past, I could put it to you, the Manuscripts Burns "community" to give me a suggestion.  If I like your suggestion by midnight tonight, I may just do it.

Excerpt: Once Upon a Time in the Kingdom

***I know what you're thinking. You're tired of being jerked around about Script Frenzy. Well, don't worry, it's over in two days, and for me it's over yesterday. Let me tell you a bit about what I wrote. (What can I say? I'm a writer. I like to write. And I like to write about what I write. How meta.)

So, Kingdom is a television series I developed in [country name redacted.] My idea was a sort of reverse Alice in Wonderland - a character from a fantastical fallen Kingdom falls "down the rabbithole" into the real world. After returning to The Former Kingdom he has tons of sexy adventures with - get this, this is the best part - a modern day ethos. Sort of a high fantasy version of Farscape. Anyway, super high concept, I know.

Behind all of this, though, there was a back story. There was a time before The Kingdom fell. There was a time when this fantasy world was still mundane, in the sense of not intersecting with real world pop culture except in subtext. None of the characters had met, and the fall of the Kingdom would have reverberations throughout the story. The story of the civil war that brought The Kingdom down was one I had always sort of known in the back of my mind, and one which I suspected would make a sort of a good TV movie, the way Babylon 5 used to do, or a two part episode to reveal all the back story which would have harsh revelations for the ongoing series.

Of course, you understand I'm talking about all of this in theoretical terms. A TV pilot is hardly ever written on spec, or by an uknown, let alone a whole series. But, for me, it has always been fun. Pure, unadulterated fun to write, fun like I almost never have writing novels with the hopes of publishing. Anyway, for Script Frenzy, I decided to write the prequel movie to the few episodes I've written, called "Once Upon a Time in the Kingdom." A combination of spaghetti western and high fantasy, it culminates in the climactic Battle of Bly Canwae. This is a scene I've had in my mind for almost three years, and thanks to Script Frenzy it finally exists on the page. Enjoy.***

EXT.BLY CANWAE.DAWN

Meritorius watches as Greifsburg's outriders close the distance quickly. Over his shoulder he hears the sound of a sword being drawn. He turns. To a man, the King's Household Guard stands. Polonius stands with his sword drawn. The rest of the century draws their swords.

POLONIUS
Centurion, the Royal Household Guard will stand with you.

Meritorius grins.

MERITORIUS
It wasn't long ago you would've called me a shit-shoveling stable boy.

POLONIUS
You are. But you're our centurion.

Meritorius looks the century up and down.

MERITORIUS
(bellowing)
Legionnaires!

The King's Household Guard snaps to, but many of the legionnaires fleeing the other units around them also stop, turn, and listen.

MERITORIUS
After today, if any of you survive, for the rest of your lives they will speak of you in soft whispers. They will say, "He stood at Bly Canwae." And nothing more will ever need to be said.
Meritorius locks eyes with every man in his unit. The fleeing legionnaires start to whisper to one another.

MERITORIUS
(bellowing)
Drums!

The drummer of the Household Guard steps forward. Meritorius nods to him. The man starts to beat the tattoo to The Who's "Cry If You Want." Or, if it's cost prohibitive to afford the music, he starts to beat a tattoo legally distinct from "Cry If You Want." As the drummer plays, Greifsburg's calvary closes on them. Some of the other legionnaires, thought not whole units for the most part, rush to join the Household Guard on the battle line. There are shouts from the other units alternatingly of "Meritorius stands" or "The Houshold Guard stands!"

And now for something completely different...

***Hey, kids. You know I normally hate to interrupt the story, but before April ends I did want to make mention of the fact that it's Script Frenzy! I know I haven't been pimping Script Frenzy as thoroughly as I did NaNoWriMo...but as I mentioned in my initial post on the subject, it was a much more low key and laid back kind of effort. No late nights or frantic button mashing at all. But now that the month is nearly over (7 pages to go, woo!) I feel bad about not mentioning it more. So let me tell you a little about my script.

It's about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it BILLY AND THE CLONE-A-SAURUS. Here's an excerpt.***

MORBIDLY OBESE REPUBLICAN
So Hussein Obama and his Dumb-ocrat party are trying to shove finance reform down the American people's throats.

WALL STREET LOBBYIST
Do you really think that line's going to work again? I mean, like 75% of the people are for reform. I mean, I'm not, but for tax purposes I'm a citizen of the Dutch Antilles, so I can't even really vote.

REPUBLICAN
Hmm. Well, I'm sure we could figure SOMETHING out, if, um, you know, ahem.

LOBBYIST
Oh, right, your bri...I mean, "campaign contribution." Here you go.

He hands over a brown sack with a dollar sign on it.
REPUBLICAN
Right, well, so, we're not retreating, we're reloading.

LOBBYIST
What does that mean?

REPUBLICAN
Well, isn't it obvious from context? It means we're going to use legislative delaying tactics to buy ourselves enough time to get some useful idiots from the Tea Party out shouting about how finance reform is actually Stalinism.

LOBBYIST
Oh. Well, that makes sense, but in context it sounded like you were going to have the president assassinated.

REPUBLICAN
I would never say that! Although, I will say that if somebody WERE to do it, they would be totally justified by the Constitution. I think it was Jefferson that said, "If thou dost not like yon president, murder ist always an option."

LOBBYIST
Do you even believe your own bullshit anymore?

REPUBLICAN
Hell do you care? You bought what you wanted.

LOBBYIST
Fair enough. Celebratory line of coke?

REPUBLICAN
Don't mind if I do.

***Okay, okay, I'm just kidding. About everything. And you all know I normally don't like to bring politics into the blog...but God damn, man. Anyway, we will be back on Wednesday with an ACTUAL excerpt from my Script Frenzy project and hopefully it will be completed by then.***

We interrupt your regularly scheduled manuscript...

...For this important announcement.

I know, I know, you've just barely started to dip your toe into the shallow end of the baby pool with "The Neighbors Are Zombies," and you're sitting on pins and needles wondering what's going to happen next. I hate to drag you out of this eagerly anticipated manuscript update, but I want to make an announcement of sorts and give you all a few days to get onboard (if you're so inclined.)

April is Script Frenzy month. Apparently every April is, though I've just discovered it this year, just as I just discovered NaNoWriMo this year. The two are, apparently, siblings, although it seems as though Script Frenzy is more of thre red-headed bastard child. (Interesting side note: if you made an account for NaNo, you already have one for Script Frenzy. Go fig.) What it comes down to is this: 100 pages in 30 days, irregardless (yes, I know that isn't a word, unless, you know, you believe language is organic) of whether you want to write a play, a television pilot, or a movie treatment.

I had to wipe the goo out of my eyes when I first read that, because 100 pp is a very...shall we say...modest goal compared to the ridiculously out-of-proportion 50,000 words of NaNo. 50,000 words is about 100 pp of prose, single spaced. 100 pp of screenplay is somewhere between 1/3 and 1/6 of that, and that's probably a conservative estimate.

Don't believe me? Allow me to illustrate. You can already see this at play with any of the scripts I've previously burned, but let's just use a fresh example. Here's a brief excerpt in prose, which I just made up:

Slippy stood in the laboratory of Deathblow Castle, concocting an arcane and fanciful new alchemical solution. Suddenly, a massive cockroach, towering easily two heads over Slippy, burst into the room. The effect was so startling and frightening that Slippy dropped a beaker, and watched as it shattered on the floor into a billion glass shards.

"Fall into my mandibles, easy meat!" the ghastly beast cackled.

Frightened, but emboldened by his faith, Slippy held up a holy cross and recited the magical words his grandmother, the town's witch-doctor, had taught him, "Never! Get thee back to Hell, thou damned she-cockroach!"

Now here's the exact same thing in (relatively) correct script format. (I admit, I can't get this blasted Blogger to center some stuff and not other stuff...so just imagine it's centered. Also, the dialogue would be significantly more indented.)

INT - DEATHBLOW CASTLE - NIGHT


DR. BUGULA, AN 8-FOOT-TALL COCKROACH, ENTERS THE ROOM. STARTLED, SLIPPY DROPS A BEAKER ON THE FLOOR.


BUGULA
(cackling)


Fall into my mandibles, easy meat!


SLIPPY
(holding up a cross)


Never! Get thee back to Hell, thou damned she-cockroach!

See the difference? The prose is ten lines (actually it would only be eight in a properly formatted manuscript, where we were tabbing instead of using line breaks, but I digress) it is much denser, and it took about three times as long to write. Three time as long as the 14 lines of script, which took about a minute to write.

For one thing, every dialogue tag is an extra three lines, instead of just, "he/she said." For another, description is as much or as little as you want, whereas in a novel you, the writer, must get us from every step A to step B, rather than relying on the potential future director and actors. And every scene change, instead of a line break or a "***" is an extra three lines, considering the location header. Admittedly, there are no chapter breaks, but when whole lines are taken up with just character's names and emotions, a script has a TON more white space than a novel. Honestly, I don't even really understand why they don't just say, "Do 50,000 words of scriptwriting instead of prose."

But, the upshot of it is, this is a much, much, much more modest starting point for any writer, and, if anyone wants to participate along with me, I wanted to give you at least a few days to be aware of it and set up your account. Any takers?