INT – FRANCOPHILE PARLOR
ALGORE RUNS OFF THROUGH THE CASTLE DOWN TO THE VERY LARGE DOOR AND OPENS IT DRAMATICALLY. STANDING THERE IS JIMMY, WITH THE CAR RUG DRAPED AROUND HIS NECK LIKE A CAPE AND A GLASS CIRCLE IN HIS EYE LIKE A MONOCLE. HE IS POSING (EXTREMLEY POORLY) AS AN ENGLISH NOBLE.
(in a hesitant, faux British accent)
Hello. I am Jim...er, rather, James, the...Earl of, uh, Warren.
The Earl of Warren? At my master's very door! Fantastic! What can I do for you, Earl?
Yes, well, I am not here for pleasure. In fact, I am here as a sort of menial job. I need to...inspect all the screwdrivers in the land.
Screwdriver? Oh, yes!
ALGORE REACHES INTO A FLOWERPOT AND PULLS OUT A SCREWDRIVER. HE HANDS IT TO JIMMY.
There you are, oh venerable Earl of Warren. Will that be all?
Ah, no, I will also require the use of your rest facilities.
Oh, we haven't got any of those. We're a clean house here.
Er, no, that is, I mean, a bathroom.
I apologize, Earl, but I don't understand your high English. I am just a lowly hunchback.
JIMMY STARES AT ALGORE’S BACK, NOTING BOTH HUMPS.
Quasimodo! I didn't know it was you! Amazing! What made you leave Notre Dame?
I'm not Quasimodo.
It's all right, Quasimodo. I won't tell anyone. You know, I went to Notre Dame. Just tell me where your bathroom is.
Bath…room? Oh, you mean the pisser. It's in that general direction.
ALGORE POINTS IN A GENERAL DIRECTION. JIMMY SHAKES HIS HAND.
You can let yourself out.
"Manuscripts don't burn"
- Mikhail Bulgakov
Hi, I'm horror and science fiction author Steve Kozeniewski (pronounced: "causin' ooze key.") Welcome to my blog! You can also find me on Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, and Amazon. You can e-mail me here, join my mailing list here, or request an e-autograph here. Free on this site you can listen to me recite one of my own short works, "The Thing Under the Bed."
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