Manuscripts Burn


MANUSCRIPTS BURN

"Manuscripts don't burn"
- Mikhail Bulgakov

Hi, I'm horror and science fiction author Steve Kozeniewski (pronounced: "causin' ooze key.") Welcome to my blog! You can also find me on Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, and Amazon. You can e-mail me here, join my mailing list here, or request an e-autograph here. Free on this site you can listen to me recite one of my own short works, "The Thing Under the Bed."

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Terrifying Revenge of the B-Movie!!!: Scene 36

INT- VICTORIAN ERA PARLOR
(NOBLE, FREAK, BORIS, GAVORDT)

NOBLE

Thanks for staying with us. Tonight we’re looking at a true classic from the silent movie era: The Hideous Freak.

FREAK

I’m sorry, did you say silent movie?

NOBLE

Ah, of course I meant black and white.

FREAK

Isn’t the film in color?

NOBLE

Well you say tomato, I say tom-ah-to.

FREAK

I say tom-ah-to.

NOBLE

Tell me, what was it like to work with the master, and by the master I mean the film’s director…

SUDDENLY, BORIS AND GAVORDT SMASH INTO THE PARLOR, BATTLING EPICALLY.

BORIS

Boris kill! Boris eat!

NOBLE

What? No, this doesn’t make any sense. This is supposed to be a framing story. This is all a bit too metafictional and self-referential

BORIS AND GAVORDT ROLL AWAY.

FREAK

Listen, I’ve got to get back to the forest. We’re about to cut back to that whole sidestory, you know.

NOBLE

What? But, no, this isn’t supposed to be happening concurrently. I mean, where’s the script girl on this?

FREAK

They…don’t call them script girls anymore. I pity you.

NOBLE

Well at least I’m not a freak?

FREAK

Aren’t you?

SHAKING HIS HEAD, THE FREAK WALKS OFF. THE NOBLE WANDERS OUT OF THE WRECKED PARLOR. JIMMY COMES STAGGERING TOWARDS HIM. THE NOBLE HOLDS UP HIS HAND.

NOBLE

Look, will you stop?

JIMMY, PANTING HEAVILY, STOPS.

NOBLE

Listen, this toilet is clearly not attached to your foot. Just take off your shoe.

JIMMY

Huh?

JIMMY SLIPS OUT OF HIS SHOE AND THE TOILET REMAINS BEHIND. HE FLIPS HIS MASK UP.

JIMMY

Hey, thanks stranger. Who are you, anyway?

NOBLE

Look, I’m not even supposed to be part of this story. There was a mixup and…

JIMMY

Look, I didn’t ask for your life story. I’m just looking for a woman. Have you seen here?

NOBLE

Yeah, come on, I’ll show you.

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