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SCENE 20
INT – CASTLE FRANCOPHILE DOORWAY
(JIMMY, FRANCOPHILE, ALGORE, ZORBON)
JIMMY HAS LIMPED OUT TO THE DOORWAY. FRANCOPHILE AND ALGORE LITERALLY RUN INTO HIM.
FRANCOPHILE
Who are you? What are you doing here?
JIMMY
Uh, I, uh…
ALGORE
That's the Earl of Warren, master. He rang the door earlier.
JIMMY
(hurried, fake British accent)
Oh, yes, that's me. But we must get out of here. There are aliens attacking!
FRANCOPHILE
Hey, what are you doing with my toilet?
JIMMY
Huh? Oh, I, uh...
JIMMY IS INTERRUPTED WHEN THE DOORWAY SUDDENLY EXPLODES INWARD. JIMMY IS THROWN TO THE FLOOR, UNCONSCIOUS. WHEN THE DUST CLEARS A FEW SECONDS LATER THE UFO IS FLOATING IN MIDAIR VIA OBVIOUSLY VISIBLE WIRE. THE UFO’S CANNON IS POINTED AT FRANCOPHILE AND ALGORE, WHO ARE STILL ON THEIR FEET. A LOUDSPEAKER EXTENDS FROM THE UFO AND ZORBON BEGINS SPEAKING THROUGH IT.
ZORBON (O.S.)
Attention Earthlings! This is Zorbon, commander of the expedition to take over the planet Earth! We are here to analyze your familial structure. We will begin tearing your house apart to learn all we can about it. Just carry on as though we were not here!
FRANCOPHILE
(whispering to Algore)
We can sneak out the back way.
ALGORE
What about the Earl of Warren?
FRANCOPHILE
Leave him!
FRANCOPHILE AND ALGORE RUN AWAY OUT THE BACK DOOR.
ZORBON
No, no! Don't leave! Aw, damn. Power up the cannon, Zandar, it's time for some carnage.
THE LOUDSPEAKER RETRACTS AND THE UFO RISES UP ABOVE THE HOUSE. THE CANNON FIRES, DEMOLISHING THE WHOLE ROOF. THE HIDEOUS FREAK POPS UP OUT OF THE RUBBLE.
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