A Fistful of Zombies 9

***Sorry for the lateness of this post. Eh, who am I kidding, I could give a fuck whether the post is late. Enjoy it, though. Good comedy here. See if you can figure out the origin of the character names.***

JOHN DENVER, an aging sheriff, looks out of the window of his office and sees Miguel’s men walking down the street. His office has no light except for a single candle. Denver is well-dressed, almost like an Easterner, but still a down-home boy. He is like the typical sheriff about ready to turn in his tin star when he is drawn into the business once again. He is obviously prepared for Miguel, as he is holding a rifle in his hands. He stands up. He turns to his two deputies, JAMES TAYLOR and BOB DYLAN.

DENVER
Well boys, they’re coming. It looks like we’re a bit out-numbered, but we’ve faced worse.

Dylan is composed and professional, but Taylor is jittery and nervous.

DYLAN
Let’s do it.

Denver and Dylan both walk towards the door. Taylor is kind of fumbling with his pistol.

TAYLOR
Wait, now, uh, maybe we should see what they do first. Maybe I’ll just wait here.

DENVER
If you want to be here alone when they get here, be my guest.

Spooked, Taylor jumps up and follows the other two out. Out on the street, the banditos stop. The law and the outlaws stare each other down from opposite end of the street. A few of the townspeople in their pajamas are watching the showdown.

DENVER
Miguel, I think you’d better saddle up and ride back to Mexico.

Miguel strokes his moustache as if in thought.

MIGUEL
No, sheriff, I think you ride out of town. Maybe back East where they appreciate pussies like you.

Denver steps forward.

DENVER
You’re asking for it, spick.

MIGUEL
Blow me, gringo.

The two sides open fire. Juan is killed almost instantly. The rest of them duck into cover and continue firing at each other. Juan stands back up.

DENVER
He’s still alive! Shoot him!

All three of the lawmen shoot at Juan, and although they hit him several times, he keeps walking forward. As he stumbles forward, rigor mortis begins to set in and he moves gradually slower and slower.

DYLAN
What the fuck…

Distracted, Dylan is suddenly struck in the head viciously by a bullet. His head snaps backwards and he falls.

DENVER
Bob! You bastards!

Denver walks across the street, stepping into full view, full of rage, and shoots at the banditos. He hits Tuco and Benedito, killing them both.