Rick Santorum: I'm tiiiiired of people making fun of my name! Make it go away! Make it go away!
Campaign Manager: What, the Google problem? There's...nothing we can really do about that. We have freedom of speech in this country.
RS: Fix it. FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT...
CM: Okay, okay! Jesus Christ, Rick! Um...we could...shut down the whole internet, I guess? Of course, that would cost millions of jobs...
RS: Good enough! Do it! Problem solved. Goodbye big government, hello Santorum!
CM: Um...or...also...and I'm just brainstorming here...we could ban all pornography? I guess that would cost...fewer...jobs. Still hundreds of thousands, though.
RS: Boom. Done. Ban pornography. Then people can't make fun of my name anymore! Yaaaaay! Time to go play with my dead baby puppet!