Manuscripts Burn


MANUSCRIPTS BURN

"Manuscripts don't burn"
- Mikhail Bulgakov

Hi, I'm Splatterpunk Award-winning horror and science fiction author Steve Kozeniewski (pronounced: "causin' ooze key.") Welcome to my blog! You can also find me on Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, and Amazon. You can e-mail me here, join my mailing list here, or request an e-autograph here. Free on this site you can listen to me recite one of my own short works, "The Thing Under the Bed."

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Jay, Walking (Get it?)

I've never watched an episode of Jay Leno.  Seriously.  I'm not, like, proud of that, like it gives me some special hipster cred or something.  I just never have.  Once or twice I've tuned in for an interview, say Lea Michele in that leather getup (what can I say, I'm a man.)  But an entire episode?  Nope.

I remember distinctly watching the last episode of Johnny Carson.  It just seemed like the thing to do, even though I had never really watched him before.  And when I was young I watched Letterman pretty religiously.  When I was in college and Friday nights before that I watched Conan pretty religiously, too.  I really haven't enjoyed Conan's latest iterations, and I think that adult swim and a general trend towards absurdist humor in society has really taken the edge off what he does, but there was a time when Conan was legitimately the only person doing what he did on television.

I even watched Tom Snyder once upon a time.  If that's not me dating myself, I don't know what is.

But Jay?  Nope.  Hardly ever.  And, really, it was never any animus towards him he just...wasn't Letterman.  Letterman was clearly better comedically.  I hear that's changed recently, but I don't really watch late night at all anymore.  Well, I do, if Colbert and Stewart count.  I feel like they fall into a different milieu, though, but I guess technically they "count" as late night programming.  They just don't follow the same format or have the same aesthetic as the network shows.

I don't hate the Scottish guy, but I don't like him either and I really only tune in (like with Jay) if it's a great interview.  Also, what's up with the fucking skeleton?  Is it a robot with pre-programmed responses or is it just a puppet?  Who the fuck knows?

I refuse to watch either of the Jimmys.  I think they're buffoons and I don't get why people watch them.

So, overall, I'm not really going to miss Jay Leno.  I guess he was an institution, but I never really had a personal connection with him.  Like, I can remember times watching Conan and Letterman and I have fond memories of them, and when either of them go off the air I'll probably get wistful.  But, honestly, I'm probably not even going to watch Leno tonight, or notice when he's gone.  Again, this is from no strong animus towards him.  I mean, I'm aware he's a hack, but I don't think he "stole" Conan's slot.  The network asked him to come back, and as a testament perhaps to his greed or maybe his loyalty to the network, he did, but it's not like he masterminded Conan's downfall as it's often portrayed.

So...so long, Jay.  I guess I won't really miss you, but no hard feelings.  Really, there was no way you could have competed with Arsenio's meteoric return, anyway.

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