Manuscripts Burn


MANUSCRIPTS BURN

"Manuscripts don't burn"
- Mikhail Bulgakov

Hi, I'm horror and science fiction author Steve Kozeniewski (pronounced: "causin' ooze key.") Welcome to my blog! You can also find me on Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, and Amazon. You can e-mail me here, join my mailing list here, or request an e-autograph here. Free on this site you can listen to me recite one of my own short works, "The Thing Under the Bed."

Monday, April 27, 2009

The Terrifying Revenge of the B-Movie!!!: Scene 34

SCENE 34

INT – UFO GALLEY
(FRANCOPHILE, ALGORE)

FRANCOPHILE FINISHES SCOOPING WHAT IS LEFT OF ELVIS’S BRAIN INTO ALGORE’S HALF EMPTY BRAIN CAVITY. HE FLIPS ALGORE’S SKULL LID BACK INTO PLACE AND PRESSES IT DOWN. THE BRAIN CAVITY IS TOO CRAMMED WITH BRAINS TO STAY DOWN. HE TRIES A FEW MORE TIMES, THEN GRABS A BOTTLE OF ELMER’S GLUE AND THE SKULL STAYS PUT. HE KNEELS DOWN AND TAKES ALGORE’S HAND TENDERLY IN HIS OWN.

FRANCOPHILE

Come on, King, I know you’re in there somewhere. Fight Algore. His personality is weak. Use your boundless charisma to overpower him!

ALGORE’S EYES FLUTTER OPEN.

ALGORE

Master…?

FRANCOPHILE SLAPS ALGORE HARD.

FRANCOPHILE

No, stupid, stop fighting!

ALGORE

Master…

FRANCOPHILE

Yes, it’s me, your master. I command you to let Elvis take over!

ALGORE STANDS UP, SPINS AROUND, AND MAGICALLY IS DRESSED LIKE LATE ‘70S FAT ELVIS, REPLETE WITH HARICUT AND WHITE SEQUINED POLYESTER. HE IS NOW ALVIS.

ALVIS

You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog

FRANCOPHILE

Oh, you never died in my heart, Elvis!

ALVIS

Hold on there, baby.

ALVIS SLICKS HIS HAIR BACK.

ALVIS

It’s Alvis now.

FRANCOPHILE

Eh, close enough.

SUDDENLY THE UFO SHAKES, AND POORLY CONSTRUCTED LIGHT FIXTURES FALL FROM THE CEILING.

ALVIS

What was that?

FRANCOPHILE

Hell if I know.

EXT – VILLAGE – CONTINUOUS
(BORIS)

BORIS, NOW MASSIVE BEYOND REASONING, GRABS THE UFO WITH HIS TWO FRONT LEGS.

BORIS

Canned meat! Boris will feast! Tasty little flies!

BORIS SLAMS THE UFO TO THE GROUND, SMASHING IT INTO THE BLACKSMITH’S SHOP
.

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